The seven things I learned through having cancer

1)    More people survive cancer than die from it.

The odds are significantly in your favour. Yes, the process of getting well is difficult both physically and emotionally, but many people have gone before you and your chances of surviving are good.

2)    Don’t blame yourself.

I was so surprised to learn that many people who develop cancer blame themselves, believing that drinking alcohol, smoking or being overweight caused the problem. There are plenty of people have these habits and do not get cancer.

Cancer occurs when the cells in your body get confused. They start dividing and lose the ability to switch off. This makes them out of control. There are lifestyle choices that can make your cells more vulnerable but getting cancer is like getting hit by lightning. The change happens at a cellular level and could theoretically happen to anyone.  Remember that bad things happened to good people some times. You can get hit by lightning.

3)    You are braver than you think you are.

It is surprising how much you can cope with when you are under stress. It was a comfort to me that I have known so many people over my career in psychiatry who have coped with intolerable problems. It definitely gave me strength. There does seem to be a well inside of us that comes to the fore when we need it.

4)    Doctors are definitely not perfect but can be very helpful in battling cancer.

This is especially true if you have a common cancer where millions of people have helped collect data on how to treat it. For example, I had a head and neck tumour. Through generations of researching volunteers, they know that the best treatment is surgical. I was diagnosed on the Thursday and went for surgery on the Saturday. It was a huge operation two surgeons booked the theatre for eight hours! But I knew this was my best chance and they were doing their best to help me.

I would recommend that you listen hard to medical advice, particularly if there is strong research backing. Remember that the doctors are human too. It must get depressing for them dealing with cancer on a daily basis. So cut them a break occasionally.

5)    Run towards people who offer help.

People often don’t know what to say to you or just offer platitudes. If someone is keen to help, say yes. In fact, try and accept any offer of assistance no matter how small. It makes a real difference. People can be remarkably kind.

This policy can backfire and you can end up with people telling you that your cancer was your fault or caused by dancing naked under the full moon or whatever. No problems at all, at this stage you can say no, and pull away from the friendship. A cancer diagnosis is an excellent get out of jail free card.

6)    The medical management of pain is a big old mess.

I have been working in medicine long enough to see the cycles of pain management. They still haven’t worked it out!? Basically, we have recently gone through a period where they used opioid medication for everything and everyone. It is now clear that this is dangerous and these drugs are addictive. The main problem is that you get used to them and they stop working.

However, cancer can cause severe pain which needs to be treated. Medicine has swung towards avoiding the opioid medications and encouraging other options like exercise and cognitive behavioural therapy. This can be frustrating when you have real pain associated with a severe diagnosis.

I am no expert, but I used the following plan:

-I was very happy to use opioids, as much as I needed, with the acute pain I experienced post surgery

-I was aware that the drugs could be addictive and ineffective if I kept going

-I slowly reduced the medication and used alternative strategies to help cope

-Paracetamol and drugs like Celebrex work really well when taking together

-I did experience some neuropathic pain. This type of pain does not do well with opioid medications and you have to find an alternative. I use multiple strategies including exercise, meditation, yoga. I would have used acupuncture if it kept going.

7)    Remember that it’s your body and you are an expert.

Listen to others but keep control of your own choices. Try to find a little joy in your day even when it’s difficult. Distract yourself with fun things if possible. I wrote my second novel during this period. Being creative helped me. If you’re really stuck, remember that everything passes, all you have to do is hang in there.